Friday, December 07, 2012


There have been a very few times I consider as really being disappointed. They have been seminal moments of my life for they affect my feelings and sense of relationship yet ‘till today. One surrounded my mother who died before even an attempt at reconciliation. Another was in regard to my father-in-law who I supported more than anyone else in the family during his alcoholism until he ultimately managed to lose my respect. Both have since been forgiven and both have since died; but, that feeling of disappointment will continue until I also pass. I can probably list one or two other such times over 65 years of life but fortunately not many.

Sadly, I did receive another one Monday. Details aren’t of much value but suffice to say a person whom I had believed in, probably to a greater extent than many others, chose a path that resulted in my utter disappointment. My sense of ethics and personal responsibility is probably far higher than average and, Lord knows, I’m pretty tough on myself. It’s a personal failing I recognize and deal with. Fortunately, I don’t try and hold others to such a high standard and am relatively quick to forgive most transgressions. The mistreatment of my loved ones is where I do draw a hard and fast line and I believe it’s been crossed once again.

Not sure where the situation will lead, it’s not mine to determine. But, I can say I am truly disappointed (read in regard to character, ethics and responsibility) in one of the parties involved. Truly I wish I wasn’t because generally my disappointment leads to an utter lack of care and concern towards the cause of those feelings and generally what’s once lost is seldom recovered.

But, “C’est la vie say the old folks, it goes to show you never can tell.”